unnothingfandomcom-20200214-history
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is a very powerful man who roundhouse kicks stuff. He's also one the most powerful humans (and gods) on the face of the Pointless Universe, but he doesn't talk about that. He is also arguably the most powerful, accomplished, and awesome man alive. He is a well respected god because he likes to make bad things happen to those who do not respect him. Chuck Norris was created shortly after the beginning of time. After the Pointless Universe was created by the Goddess of Pointlessness, Chuck Norris was the first thing to be in it. It is believed he is responsible for inventing stars, planets, and other life forms. Since he says he was, it must be true, as Nobody is stupid enough to argue with Chuck Norris. He is immune to Happycat's NEDM, Waluigi's tennis racket, and all of Üeegee's stares. Trivia *The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris. *Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. *Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, AND GOT IT!!! *Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he never cried. *When Chuck Norris was once refused a Whopper at Wendy's, he kicked the Wendy's so hard it became a Chick Fil A. *When Chuck Norris does pushups, he isn't pushing himself up like mere mortal humans, he is actually pushing the earth down. *When Chuck Norris wants butter, he roundhouse kicks the cow and butter comes straight out. *Chuck Norris is the reason we can't learn the roundhouse kick (because only his god friends can know it, and won't let a foolish mortal learn such a powerful move). *If you hate Chuck Norris, you'll be on his death list. *Chuck Norris married a lorry trailer and it gave birth to Optimus Prime. *No one can defeat him (that goes for the other UnUndefeatables, too). *Chuck ain't impressed with the "OVER 9000" meme, because his powa level is over infinity! *Chuck Norris is never late... NEVER! *Chuck Norris can split a atom with his bare hands. *A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. *Chuck Norris can hear sign language. *Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. *Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. *Chuck Norris can drown a fish. *Chuck Norris counted to ∞... twice. *The above was made easier because he can also divide by 0. *Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month. *When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. *Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. *Chuck Norris went into a maze. The maze got lost and he roundhouse kicked it so hard the maze was a drunk. *Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. *When cops need cops they call Chuck Norris *Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his fingergun, by yelling, "Bang!" *When Chuck Norris is hiking grizzly bears watch out for him *Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. *As you can see, this guy is a professional. *He has two more powerful forms: Ultimate Chuck Norris is the UnNothing version of UnAnything's Hyper Weegee, and Gargantua Norris is a mecha-Chuck-Norris the size of Metroplex (a Transformer). Category:Characters Category:Male